Skip to main content
Unruled Masses
News

Today in Kleptocracy - The 2026 Gold-Plated Grift Awards

Best Use of a Hungry Child as a Line Item

Cymone McClellan, 33, St. Louis nonprofit executive

McClellan billed the state for 860,876 meals she never served to low-income Missouri children — pocketing $2.3 million to fund two houses and five vehicles, including a 2018 Lexus RX SUV. (FBI) The kids got empty plates. Cymone got GPS navigation and heated seats. Acceptance speech: "I'd like to thank the COVID pandemic for eliminating in-person audits just when I needed it most."

Lifetime Achievement in Irony

Tom Albritton, Executive Director, Alabama Ethics Commission

The man whose entire job description is "stop public officials from self-dealing" quietly steered scholarship money from a public memorial fund to his own children. When confronted, he offered this defense: "It was not prohibited." (AL.com) The state's chief ethics referee spent years calling fouls on everyone else, then slid the cookie jar across the table to his own kids and called it fine dining. The concept of irony died peacefully. It has been cremated.

Best First Amendment Defense for a $60 Million Bribe

Larry Householder, convicted Ohio House Speaker, and Matt Borges, lobbyist

Householder and Borges accepted $60 million from utility giant FirstEnergy to ram through a $1 billion bailout — costing Ohio ratepayers $500 million in higher electric bills to keep two 1950s-era coal plants running. They then argued to the U.S. Supreme Court that this was a protected "campaign promise." (Canary Media) The Supreme Court said no. Ohioans are still paying a corruption surcharge on every electric bill. The First Amendment could not be reached for comment. It is embarrassed.

Most Creative Use of a Federal Agency as a Dating App

Lori Chavez-DeRemer, former U.S. Secretary of Labor

Chavez-DeRemer's top aides allegedly fabricated "official government events" so the Secretary could travel with a member of her security detail she was reportedly having an affair with — all while drinking on the job. (Politico) The Department of Labor: protecting America's workers, one invented itinerary at a time. She has since resigned to pursue her personal life without the taxpayer subsidy.

Most Spirited Interpretation of "Policy Stakeholder Engagement"

Kevin Wilkinson, David Ferrell, Douglas Bowen Heath, and Douglas Miskew, Raleigh lobbyists

Four lobbyists — three of whom represent alcohol companies — flew North Carolina lawmakers to a Kentucky bourbon distillery in flagrant violation of the state's gift ban, apparently convinced that the best way to write liquor regulation is to be completely hammered while doing it. (Raleigh News and Observer) All four face misdemeanor charges. The bourbon faces no charges and reportedly tasted excellent. We're glad they had a nice time!

By the Unruled Masses Communications Team

The Unruled Masses Communications Team is a multidisciplinary collective of communications professionals, digital strategists, policy analysts, and content creators dedicated to translating complex investigations into compelling public narratives. Specializing in investigative storytelling, accountability journalism, strategic communications, and hopeful community building, our team bridges the gap between rigorous research and public understanding.

Sources

Stay in the loop

Get updates on civic action, our platform, and how you can get involved.

Support our work

Your contribution helps us build the tools for peaceful, powerful change.

Donate